Homeschool World Forum

I have a very oppositional 27 month old daughter. Everything is a fight. Even when we are going to do something she wants. She doesn't throw tantrums or hit but she contantly tests. whether it is stopping, when I tell her to come and looking at me, like 'what are you gonna do about it' or purposely dropping food, and again looking at me with that look. This is all day long. She is constantly border-line, defiant. I know these sound very normal but its the way she does them, so... In my face and it is so ALL DAY LONG. She shows affection but, it is usually manipulative.
So, I'm thinking, maybe she needs more of a schedule. We already have a wake-up time, bath time, nap time,bath time, bed time. Do you have your toddler on a minutely scheduled day? And more, does it help with oppositional behavior?
Thank you for any schedule examples and/or experiences/results with similar children.
Thanks,
Amanda

This site has some great info on discipline:

http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com

Dear Amanda,
My youngest just turned 2 and I have 4 children; dd 7, ds 9, dd 12.
I can tell you the 2's don't have to be terrible, like they've been labeled.
Sure, some discipline is necessary, however, I'd be careful about actually trying to do any planned activities with this age. I have to keep all the art supplies way up high, and adjust everything to keep her out of that kind of trouble.
No, no, no--I do not think you need to schedule more at all. The reason you have the schedule you have now is because she is very young. I would keep that schedule and do not try to make it more detailed.
I would add reading/play together time, cut out TV/videos and make sure she is getting enough to eat and drink, according to her needs. A natural pattern might emerge, if you look for the signs.
I think what helps is trying to make sure our toddler takes her nap in the late afternoon when it is starting to get dark (Northern IL), so that she is actually sleepy. My husband helps when he is here, and notices when things are getting out of hand. He usually offers drinks to the kids, and makes sure we are going to get some exercise.
I have one other idea, about "Love Language", however, I have to look for that book by Gary Chapman. Someone else suggested it; I'll let you know if it seems helpful after I look at it.
Let's keep this conversation going. I know how hard it is to have a 2 yr old asking for food, and then playing with it; I suggest you don't fight that battle and just take the food away. That worked for me.

I agree with Mathmom. One more important thing - changing my perceptions helped a LOT! I could choose to picture children as willful, disobedient, manipulative.......or, I could choose to picture them as strong, independent, curious. Changing how I felt and the words I used to myself changed the level of patience I had and the positive energy I directed back. The goal was still the same - to stop the unwanted behaviour - but because my attitude towards it was more positive and in teaching mode it was easier to bear the path, and relationships became better. Children sense what we feel and that's a hard burden at such a young age.