jules88 wrote:My husband was working in the front yard and noticed my son "just standing around". So, he asked me to come and see. I saw him kicking the ball.
So it sounds like the two of you need to spend some time together
over the next few months observing, so that you'll both see the same things instead of having dueling observations.
jules88 wrote:My husband think that we should revisit the "public school" idea because he seems to be shy around lots of kids and my husband doesn't like to see him not "included". I put that in quotes because I don't think he is left out I think that he choses to not participate.
Could be! My (happily always homeschooled) kids once asked me not to take them to playgrounds where there were any kids from other families because they had much more fun playing without others. I did it for a little while and then gradually started teaching them rules for sharing the playground successfully with others, getting along with crowds, waiting their turn, etc., etc. As it is, they always get lots of playgrounds to themselves because we go during the school day. But when others are there or come while we're there I remind them to share and get along.
Also, when we were kids it looked to me like my younger brother did a lot of standing around not being included in the neighborhood sports, yet his memory is that he felt completely included and had a blast with those guys. (We were all in public school together.)
jules88 wrote:...he doesn't like to play with more that one or at the most two boys at a time. "It just never works out" he says.
So I'd say the homeschooled child isn't the only one who needs to be taught to get along with groups. (I wouldn't try to teach all the others, but maybe two or three at a time when they come over to my house.) I would talk it over with my child and try to help him figure out how to relate to people who are less mature and less educated than he is. I suspect he will have to deal with that all the rest of his life.
jules88 wrote:He doesn't like to have to choose which boy to play with when they both want to do something different.
Oh, I sympathize with him! One of the most vivid memories from my childhood is the two girls who lived on either side of my house coming over separately and telling me not to play with the other one! Mostly they were best friends (they had lived there before I moved in) but they would have fights. I learned from my religious upbringing to tell them I liked them both and I was going to play with them both, whether separately or all together.
jules88 wrote:He will frequently come home from one of the boys houses because he does't agree with or like how they are playing.
This might be something to discuss with your husband. What should your
family's values be? Are you going to praise him for walking away when he's uncomfortable and standing alone above the fray? Or are you going to teach him to be a team player?
jules88 wrote:...when he is in large groups...he "doesn't do well" (my husbands words).
Home educating gives us as parents the opportunity to teach our kids everything they need to know, whether social or whatever. We don't have to use the sink-or-swim method. Tell your husband that teaching your son by precept and example is more effective than letting him figure things out from a crowd of immature kids his own age. Work together on teaching him specifically how the two of you would like to see him behave in a large group.
jules88 wrote:According to my husband, when they were doing some writing activity with the boy scouts, he couldn't write as well, or spell and needed my husbands help alot.
Maybe he can write and spell as well as the others but is aware of his own imperfections and dissatisfied with them and wants older, more experienced people to help him improve himself as he goes along. Maybe the other boys can't write or spell any better than your son but have no idea that they're doing it badly and are unwilling to accept good advice or improve themselves.