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My best friend is lambasting me over homeschooling my child
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:58 am
by kennys_mommy
Congrats!
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:51 pm
by easyhomeschooling
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:56 pm
by Ophelia
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:56 pm
by kennys_mommy
ok
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:59 pm
by easyhomeschooling
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:07 pm
by seekingmyLord
Personally, I would just talk to her and it would start with this:
As my friend, I have talked to you about things that bother me, probably more than you would like at times. I have always appreciated how you have been there for me, but there is one thing I have not felt comfortable talking to you about. We have been friends for so long, it is difficult for me to think I do anything that displeases you--it actually hurts me. However, I have come to realize that there are some things that I am going to do differently in my life than you have done in yours, and you know me well enough to know that I don't do anything without a good deal of consideration. So, please understand that your opinions against my homeschooling are not going to change my mind and I don't expect my opinions on it to change yours. However, homeschooling is a part of my life just as you are a part of my life and I am feeling torn between the two right now.
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:48 pm
by Minniewannabe
Even if she's a best friend, it's none of her business. Personally, I'd tell her that while you appreciate her opinions, her discussing homeschooling with you has become an annoyance to the point you don't want to talk about it with her anymore. Refer her to a good homeschool site if she wants more information, but explain that you don't owe her an explanation and she has no right to continual criticism. Then suggest you talk about something "more fun" and leave homeschool discussion behind forever.
Personally, I think the letter you wrote puts you on the defensive, a position you don't have to be in. You and your DH are the decisions makers here, not her. But if it's therapeutic for you to send it, then so be it. Hopefully, the letter was therapeutic enough by just writing it.
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:12 pm
by bippycorn
I have to totally agree with you on home schooling. If I ever get married (and im 41), i would love the opportunity to homeschool my kids as i just dont think kids can get the same education in public schools these days that they can get through homeschooling where one or 2 parents can give their all teaching their kids. I just cant see some public school teacher teaching my child with the passion and love i would give to them. Its only natural as they would be my kids.
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:06 pm
by 4given
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:34 am
by seekingmyLord
Personally, I would see the letter as therapy and toss it. I did something like this once and I have been on the other end, too. From my experience, it is a sure way to end a friendship. Unless your relationship is one that has been by letter, you should be able to talk with your best friend about this.
The very first message this letter sends, once she gets the gist of the letter, is that you don't want to face her or talk to her, which is an insult between close friends and suggests the friendship is over. That immediately puts her in the wrong frame of mind to accept what you have written, so she will be looking for anything that even remotely is offensive to her so that she has a real reason to be offended.
If you want to keep the relationship, you really need to sit down face-to-face and have a talk friend-to-friend. If she cares enough about your feelings, she will back off. If not, you may need to be the one that does not respond to her opinion on homeschooling, and try using some good old fashioned etiquette: turn the course of the conversion with something obviously trivial like, "Have you noticed how nice the weather is today?" Eventually, she will realize that homeschooling is a dead subject between the two of you and will find something you both can enjoy discussing.