Hugsncrumbs wrote:How old are your kids? My kids are 5 and 3 and my husband is scared of homeschooling but said he was open to a "trial" of it. However, he insisted we put our son in a 4-K program this year (just sweet-talking me with the homeschool trial thing, I guess, cause when it came down to it... ) Our son has been coming home stressed and "mean"; a big change in his personality. But my dh still insists that school is the best thing for him. How did you convince your husband to actually let you "try homeschooling"? Thanks!
My kids are now nearly 17 and 14.5. We began home schooling in the last six weeks after SAT's their 6th and 4th grades. Both kids were so miserable that we were at the doctor's office at least once a week.
My deal with my husband was that he had to promise not to be hating me for trying it. He also had to promise that this would not endanger our marriage.
I had to promise that he could still do whatever he wanted on his off days regardless of the home schooling. I also had to promise that he would NOT have to be involved in the home school except in the case of emergencies or advanced math problems. *L*
(There are still times today that I am resentful that my life partner is not my home schooling partner btw. He HATES talking about curriculum for instance and I NEED to.)
Our trial period was for the last six weeks of school that year. It was mostly to see if the kids would do what they were told, academically, when they were told and meet their deadlines. Also we wanted to see how the family would get along with that much time together.
If so we would homeschool the next year. We would compare the SAT scores they took in public school to the ones they took during our first full year of home school. (This turned out to be quite a problem however. It was rather like comparing apples to oranges for a lot of reasons.)
Anyway, that's what the deal was. Fortunately my husband really knows himself and what he needs. When he makes me a promise he can stick to it. When he says he will support me even though he thinks what I'm doing is crazy he actually does manage to support me.
Also fortunately, we both want what is best for our kids and we both are willing to listen to the other one. We would prefer the other one of us be happy rather than ourselves. This makes for a very good partnership.
Those that can't compromise or really hear anything other than what they want or their next argument point in their heads are MUCH harder to work with. I know because I was married once before.
In your case I might ask, what he would like to see the child learn or have from pre school. Then I would think about how to get those things for the child in home schooling or try to explain why I didn't think the child needed those things.
Sadly, I think many men get all wrapped up with their boys being a "manly, macho, boy." I suspect that they equate the rough things about school as something to be endured. (After all they did it and look how manly they are.)
Homeschooling doesn't seem very macho and with mom in charge might in fact make them "soft." These are the same men that insist their boys play a sport or several. They always seem to think their wives are too easy on the kids as well.
Some see homeschooling as failing or dropping out of society.
Hopefully he cares as much about your and your child's thoughts and feelings as you do about his and your child's. If that is the case you can probably work this out with a lot of consideration and thought.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes!