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Homeschool World Forum • How easy is it to get back into Public School after HS? - Page 3
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:22 am
by Redhead

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 10:02 am
by Against Homeschooling
Believe me, redhead - since I started posting here I've worried quite thoroughly about the lack of data to support my position. I assure you that I have searched quite thoroughly for data that reflects socialization (I hate that word and kick myself every time I use it) or at least satisfaction, or happiness, or something to that effect among the homeschooled population. All I've found are a handful of studies, poorly documented, and generally themselves carried out by homeschooling advocates. These colorful charts always brag about how many things homeschoolers are doing outside the home, but realistically the profile of activities precisely matches those of the lonely, self-conscious kids that I've talked with.

Also, I hasten to add that on the topic of anecdotes I am speaking not only for myself but for nearly every homeschooler with whom I have ever spoken regarding this issue, in contrast to the bulk of parents on this discussion forum who eagerly relate all the terrible things that happened to them personally in public school. The bulk quantities of homeschooling literature that I have read all reflect a very similar parental attitude which I feel is something akin to a coverup of the real situation of the affected children. I could be wrong, and in any argument, especially with so admittedly flimsy a platform as I am on, it would be foolish for me to assert otherwise. However, I believe strongly given what I have seen of the homeschooling community that I and the very few others in my position are correct and will eventually be vindicated.

I'm no public school advocate. It's dumbed down, childish, and often a complete waste of time. But even as bad as it is, I argue that it is superior to homeschooling. Moreover, public school can be made to work by choosing hard classes and going outside the bounds of assignments, just as homeschooling can, and without the risk of having a "teacher" who posts on online forums using entirely capital letters. The difference between public school and education at home, I strongly believe, is that in public school it is relatively easy to be relatively well adjusted while homeschoolers find it very difficult to be even slightly well adjusted. It doesn't help that many homeschooling families belong to extremely dogmatic religious groups which place further restrictions upon individuals' thought processes and schedules.

So, if you have solid statistical data regarding "socialization," I would be very interested. I see my current purpose in this place as simply to warn parents as best as I am able given my resources as to just what a travesty this experience can be. And really, don't think that that I am necessarily condemning home education no matter what. I'm sure that given the proper community, parents, geographical situation and general attitude things could work out perfectly. I've just never seen that happen.

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 10:22 am
by Redhead
Again, however, your entire basis for argument is purely anecdotal. You say that every homeschooler you've ever talked to has shared the fact that they're miserable and ill-socialized. Do you have any appreciation, however, for the fact that those percentages have to be ridiculously small?

It's fine to come here and ask parents to make every effort to ensure their children are exposed to other children in varied settings and situations so that they will not find themselves ill-prepared to deal in the real world. I agree that I've seen homeschool families who are entirely too shut off from their surroundings, and I have little doubt their kids will suffer because of it.

However, it's entirely different to come here and, with absolutely no evidence, make generalizations that public schooling better prepares children for 'the real world' than homeschooling. All schools are not the same; all families are not the same; all kids are not the same. Homeschooling didn't work for you, and it probably hasn't worked for others. Nevertheless, as many parents here have tried over and over to point out to you, it HAS worked for plenty of other children.

I've seen parents assert over and over that their children have done well and have numerous friends and close relationships. Without knowing any of them, though, you have dismissed them out of hand as making it up, creating a fantasy that isn't the dismal reality their children are really experiencing. And that is just plain poor thinking on your part.

Why don't you just leave it at this: homeschooling didn't work for you. You're ill-socialized as a result and have talked to other kids who have found themselves in the same boat. Parents who homeschool should take serious and long looks at how they are introducing their kids to the world around them and make sure they aren't over-sheltering their children from realities they'll have to face sooner or later.

On the flip side, you need to accept that it is every parent's responsibility to decide what is right for their child and what isn't. Some parents let their 13 year old daughters wear shirts that say 'sexy' on it; this parent won't be letting her daughter wear one of those as long as this parent is paying for anything---food, clothes, or tuition. Some parents let their kids go to underage drinking parties because it's cool and they don't want to look like a "peculiar minority" by not doing so; this parent definitely won't. None of those decisions would change whether my kids were homeschooled, private schooled, or public schooled.

And that's my ultimate point. You're not talking about homeschooling--- you're talking about parenting. You need to learn that distinction. Dating and concerts and friends are all going to come back to a parenting style, not a schooling choice.

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:19 pm
by momo3boys
Great point Redhead, Parenting styles and Homeschooling are very different!

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 1:33 pm
by WishboneDawn

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 11:07 am
by momofmy3kids

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:16 am
by novo4

Re: How easy is it to get back into Public School after HS?

Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 9:44 pm
by StellarStory